When we lived in the South, I decided to go to school to become a Licensed Massage Therapist. Since I was working my day job, the training took place at nights and weekends for a year. A lot of the training was hands on (big smile) and a portion of the exams were required practicals. These practical’s were nerve racking because the students, around 18 of us, would set up our massage tables in a very large room without any walls or curtains so the instructors could watch how we were doing the tested procedure. The “clients” were people who signed up to get some dirt cheap time, normally an hour, on a table. This one Saturday exam was for a full body massage and my client was a no show, I was pissed because I didn’t want to have to reschedule this exam. I called home, my Wife answered and 15 minutes later she was undressed on my table with a sheet and blanket over her. Whew! I didn’t have to do a makeup.
One small note here, My Wife hates massages. She was being my guinea pig at home but after too many “ouches”, “that’s too hard”, and “I don’t like that” I stopped using her as my practice body. So you can imagine how I needed to whine plus promise her an expensive night out so she would get on my table that afternoon for the exam.
All is set now, she’s on my table on her back, nicely covered and warm and I start the massage. Scalp, face, neck, shoulders, each arm and hand, stomach (which she really really hated but endured thru it for me) and then I get to the legs which can be a tricky draping maneuver (moving the sheet/blanket to uncover the leg without seeing any surprises). Since this was a testing situation I was a little nervous so I made eye contact with R and under my breath I told her to “hold on to the top of the blanket”. She smiled and I thought all was good so I got by her right leg and began draping thinking the blanket was anchored on top. It wasn’t. As soon as I did the first draping move, the sheet and blanket slide down and when I looked up all I saw was her right breast fully exposed and R still smiling at me. H-O-L-Y S-H-I-T!!! as my jaw dropped and my eyes got as big as flying fucking saucers. I quickly moved up by her side again and pulled up the blanket and that’s when she noticed she had been uncovered. Now I don’t know what struck me funnier, seeing her boob out for all to see or the fact that she wasn’t even aware of her exposure or maybe it was both. Whatever; but that’s when my painfully controlled “I lost it” incident started.
Ever been in a situation where you know you can’t laugh loudly or laugh at all? That’s what this was and I couldn’t stop the silent laughing. My whole body shook, my face turned bright red, my ears turned purple and my eyes were crying all because I was doing everything possible to contain the sound my voice wanted to make. That pain lasted for at least the next 10 minutes and from that point on, I didn’t dare to make eye contact with my Wife for fear it would start all over again. The instructors kept me under surveillance for a while as I went back to doing now a half ass massage.
I learned proper draping very quickly after that time and I’m proud to say I never uncovered a booby again that I didn’t want uncovered!