Saturday, April 11, 2009

....let me count the ways. Five

How do I love thee?

I knew you were the one for me and that I wanted us to spend the rest of our lives’ together. That sounds pretty extreme for a player but let me explain first how I came about that reasoning.

Remember when I was working part time at Maddie’s the bar where we met? I was behind the bar serving the usual late night Saturday hodgepodge of gays and lesbians. You were sitting on the other side by a friend, or who I thought was a friend. You and she seemed like you were having a bit of fun, talking and what not. I kept my eyes on you as I endlessly mixed drinks and popped bottles of beer. All of a sudden both of you started looking at the floor; giggling and the girl friend had gotten a little too close to you. I didn’t like it, especially when I couldn’t see what her hands were doing.

Back then we were still allowed to smoke in the Jersey bars and Maddies had nicely weighed and thick glass ash trays. I made sure the top of the bar was cleared to the end where you two were sitting, no other ash trays were in the way or more important, beer bottles. I had a clean shot from my end of the bar to the other which ended at the wall. I picked up an ash tray, placed it on the bar and gave it a good Mad Dyke shove down the bar where it flew right in front of the two of you getting chummy and then it smacked into the wall. With the exception of the blaring jukebox the place quieted down, you and the little shit looked at me as I walked over and then very sternly told our friend, “Keep your hands on the bar”. That plus the killer look that I’ve mastered over the years was enough to freeze the “one who was tired of living” in fact, she smartened up quickly and moved to a different chair, away from you.

That little incident confirmed to me that I was totally in love with you because it was the first time I felt that particular emotion. Holy shit, I was jealous that a woman had made a play for you. I mean, I had never felt the big J-feeling before in my player life. It was a humongous wake up call for me. I wanted you, no if’s, and’s, or but’s.

A month before our first anniversary we went to Maddies. We sat at one of the tables in the back and after I picked up our drinks I got down on my knee and asked you to be mine (I can be a corn-ball at times, I know). I had in my hands a little fuzzy box and when I opened it, you cried. Inside there was a tricolor gold ring with a diamond placed in the center of a beautiful rose. You shook your head yes and I placed the ring on your finger. We were officially “together” and nobody was going try to take you from me ever again.

Back then, an informal commitment ceremony is what we had in the place of marriage or unions. So we began planning for a ceremony on Valentine’s Day, one year to the day from when we met and fell in love with each other. Once kiss at 11:55pm on that very special day was all that was needed to take this player out of the game. We were going to affirm our love for each other in front of all our friends.

Remember that day? We had made all of the plans from a wedding cake to tuxedos, when all hell broke loose?

My Wife, Maddie, Me
1982 (a fucking long time ago)


Monkey Outlaw said...

Dang you know the playa days are over when the very green eyed monster you swear would never evade your space rears his ugly green monster head and pukes all over!

But it's all well worth it isn't it!

:) love this keep it coming!

Windy Days said...

Hurry up! And bring all the photo albums with you! How drunk do you have to be to tell all these stories in person? What about R? I'm so excited I might pee in my panties!

small town dyke said...

Love the picture! You look so happy, I'm glad that you found what you were looking for.

lesbo said...

Love the pic! A year before I was even born.. How cute ;)

P.s. This is quickly becoming my favorite love story.

Propane Amy said...

Another quality post from Jude's love life!! I'm so jealous!! LOL

Dar said...

LOL, cripes I sort of feel sorry for that interloper, (G) but she got the message, didn't she? ... You have fire Jude. Keep that flame burning! :)

Squirty said...

Oh how I long for someone to give an ash tray a mad dyke shove in my honor...I love it!

Dragon said...

Well, she took your heart and kept it and that was that. Did you ever think that would happen to you?

Real Live Lesbian said...

I'm kinda surprised that you didn't just fling that ashtray at the bitch's head. Woulda served her right! ;)

Love the picture! I think I had that very same prairie shirt!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Oh and you're coming to WAYNESBORO!? Now that's country!

Jude said...

Real Live, yes on the country also that's where the torture spa is located.

Dragon, never in my life did I think someone could hold my heart the way R has done.

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shane rocket said...

a great addition to your story!!!!
love it!!!

Jude said... thumping spam?...GMAFB