Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My Worst 20 Minutes

Working part time at the local YMCA as a Massage Therapist did come with a lot of perks. My clientele consisted of mostly women and the other LMT working there was my gay guy friend, he normally ended up with the guys. On occasions though, I ended up with a man on my table. No biggie, I didn’t discriminate in fact it was a nice change for me because I was able to use my full force and strength on a man.

I had an appointment with a guy one time that was on travel. He made it to the room on time which kept me in a good mood. I gave him my short talk, left the room while he got undressed and got himself situated on the table. I knocked on the door and entered. He was on his back and covered (he paid attention to my short talk), I made sure he was on the center of the table before I began the massage.

Now it’s a fact men are hairier than women. Ok that’s fine. So I wasn’t surprised when I came across the thicker than what I was used to hair on his arms, chest or legs. Everything was going along just fine and I could tell he had gotten into the Jude Induced La-La Land. Half way through and I had him flipped onto his belly and continued with the back of his legs. I always liked saving the best to last, the back. Let’s face it that’s where most of the tension is held, in the back and shoulder area. I knew how to work that area nice and deep too.

As I uncovered the guys’ back though I nearly screamed as my eyes popped out and back into of my eye sockets like a cartoon character. I was looking at a fucking field of dark, thick, course hair. That’s all I saw, hair, not skin, hair, thick as a tree covered in Kudzu. I’m still eeeewwww’ing as I write this part. I wanted to litterly throw up and I had 20 minutes left to go on the massage. In order for me to not do the things that my mind was telling my body to do, my mind had to go on vacation right then and there so I could finish the massage.

I put some extra oil on my hands, like four times the normal amount, and started to slide them over the bed of gag, hair. After a while of being disengaged with my mind I noticed I could make some pretty amazing designs with the strokes I was doing. I had big hair swirls, little swirls, hair parted from the vertebrae, all of it standing upright, in a V shape; I even had my name on his back for a short time. The hour was finally up and I was done. After I told the guy to get up slowly because he was going to be dizzy, I literally ran out of the room to wash my hands. I lost count on how many hair particles I took off my hands, I was just happy that hour was over. I think that was the Bear’s last trip to the Memphis area too, TGFSF’s.


11 comments:

Newbo said...

Haha! That's hilarious!

Propane Amy said...

OMFG.... I would have died right there!!! I can't handle back hair. It's just wrong. If that was me, i would never go get a message with a back like that. I'd have it waxed first!!!

Solo said...

Eeeeewwwww! Poor Jude!!!! You should've used hair gel and written "Shave ME!" on his back!

Jude, I swear to you, the verification word is GrewApe!!!!!

small town dyke said...

YUCKY YUCKY no waay I could do that

Jude said...

lol on Solo's verification...i wonder how that does that.

lesbo said...

aye!
that is disgusting! i don't understand how men with hairy backs can even go out in public like that. so gross!
hahaha you are srsly a trooper!

Squirty said...

It is hard enough to look at back hair like that, but to touch it....ewww


Thank you for the mental images of you making designs in his back hair. Way to embrace the situation!

Windy Days said...

That is just yucky. Like Ookie Kabookie-Yucky-to-the-Max yucky! Nice kudzu image, though.

Dragon said...

Ughh Gross!!! I hate hair!! I think I would have been gaging the whole time.

Dawg said...

Eeew. Eeew. Eeew!!!!

Monkey Outlaw said...

My all enduring respect to you Jude, because there's no way in hell I could do that to Bigfoot! Grossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss