Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Dyke it Up

Every now and then something comes along in this game I call life that causes me to stop and reflect on where I'm spending my time and energies. I'll sit down and throw a dozen questions at myself and document the answers. Most times some minor tweaking needs to take place because situations have changed and I haven't yet fully adjusted to the change. Or I've gotten so caught up in one of my priorities I've started to ignore some of the others and a small rebalancing is in order. This little exercise can take a couple of days, a week or until the brick wall that has stopped me in my tracks is broken down.

Usually, I'm in for some sleepless nights and a lot of quiet time until I can get back functioning in the game. It's all worth the effort because the end result allows me to have a renewed sense of direction which will lead me towards a positive change or outlook.

Reminding myself that I have the power to change the game plan and the rules is another reward I gain from this introspection.

So this is where I'm at right now, sitting down throwing out the questions and looking at my answers. I'm not happy with my current job, it's not challenging enough for me and I have to figure out how to change that so I'm feeling better about a job that I need. The brick wall stopper has been some health concerns which makes the job issue a lower priority. You know how it happens that a Dr's appointment leads to some tests that lead to even more testing. I'm at that 3rd round and I'm scared shitless and trying to dyke it up because I know deep down everything will be ok because that's me always being the optimistic me.

Life is, all good things.

18 comments:

lesbo said...

aw jude.
sorry you're having a tough time. I'm glad you have the power of optimism on your side.
we're here whenever you need an ear.
xo.

Dragon said...

hoping for the best for you with the tests!! I know the feeling on changing jobs for various reasons.

Camlin said...

sending positive thoughts your way....

tommy said...

Hey kid--

It's gonna be all good. The tests will be fine and then you'll have more time and energy to dedicate to finding a new more challenging job... with all this extra time you are soon to have...how bout you hook me up and find me a new more challenging, fabulous job too... he he. "You got this."

Jen said...

I love the idea of figuring where you are at right now and where you want to be. Such a positive attitude is inspiring Jude.

The tests will be fine, but always nice to make sure. Feeling scared is sometimes a good thing - keeps us grounded, and appreciative.
You know I love you!
xoxo

Ang said...

Jude,
Hugs!! My thoughts are with ya right now. I am sorry you are going through a tough spell. You have a wonderful positive attitude and inspire me. :)

shane rocket said...

i luv ya and it will be ok. hugs

positive your way princess...

Windy Days said...

I will never ever call you Princess:) I love you.

Propane Amy said...

Keep that positive outlook sweet cheeks!! I'm sorry you're going thru such a rough patch. I'm always available if you wanna chat. And so are the rest of Refocksa.

small town dyke said...

it will all be good, that is the power of positive thinking. as for the job if it pays the bills right now get through the other stuff and then move on to bigger and better things and remember we are all here if you need us.

Newbo said...

Good luck with the tests. I'm not gonna say i'm sure everything'll be fine cos i hate it when people say that to me, cos how can you know? But stay positive like you are and only good things will come your way. xxx

Margo said...

Give R a hug for me. The boob squishing kind.

vixen kitten said...

Sending lots of postitive thoughts and prayers your way, Sugar.

xoxo
~vk~

LilliGirl said...

Well of course I'll send you more good vibes, but my honest reation was - fuckity, fuck, fuck fuck! - I hate it when that stuff happens...I'm glad you have a boring, easy job while you have to deal with the pain in the ass medical stuff! It's helpful.

Don't let it get you down. You can't change it right away but you can move through it...Just know you will be fine. It's up to you to fully define that word of course but we got your back! Holla if you need to chat. (((HUGS)))

Jude said...

thanks everyone for your well wishes, positive thoughts and prayers....you Gals rock my world!

this is truly amazing

i should know the results the week of sept 14th (sigh)

Dawg said...

I love your approach to balancing yourself out when needed. I know all too well about sleepless nights.
*hugs!*

Dar said...

I hope it's good news...

reeflightning said...

waiting for results sucks! you are strong, stay in the moment, the moment is always the best place to be.rainbows after rain jude!