Sunday, September 6, 2009

Pulling Hair


Every now and then I get to pull the Wife's hair. Not in a cat fight way nor in the way of kinksville either but through a head cap. She likes to color her hair then add highlights and it's me that she relies on to use a funny looking crochet hook to pull strands through bulls-eyes that are conveniently marked on a water polo style head cap. I've done this duty many times over the past 10 or so years and the conversations are like instant replays of been there, done that just like the one we had this morning.....

Wife - big sigh

Me - what

Wife - I've got most of the front done and I need your help now.

Me - ok. at this point I get the brain hooker from her and notice that she's gotten about 20 of the fckn bull eyes done and I think, great only 121 to go but I'm determined to help out so I start pulling hair.

Wife - Now you know, no loops.....

Me - I know.

Wife - And only the bull....

Me - I know. which at this point I tilt the mirror that she's been looking at towards the ceiling and continue.

Wife - Try to make it all even and...

Me - I KNOW, move your head forward and get closer to me.

Wife - You wouldn't make a very good hair stylist.

Me - I'm not one and don't ever want to be one. I would kill people.

Wife - oh. Watch my ear. OUCH!

Me - sorry


And the conversation continues along the same for the next 20 minutes. We say same verbiage when it's time for me to apply the stinky paste. She tells me how to brush it on each strand and I paint the shit on her head. Today, she only had one "ouch" so I'm getting better at pulling only her hair through holes and leaving her scalp and brains in tact.

The end result? She loves it. Me too. Plus, we're still happily married which is so fcking amazing.

And after it's all done I make sure to do a 30 minute walk about Homo Depot to put me back into my butchness.

18 comments:

small town dyke said...

lmao love the walk at homo depot!

Ang said...

awww that cap stuff hurts. I am glad you kept her head in tact.

C said...

LMAO @ homo depot. that is just too fucking hilarious!
yep, pulling the hairs does hurt.

c

C said...

ps

pulling hair is pretty nice during the lovemaking moments.... as well.... oh yeah, babe!

c

lesbo said...

ha.
jude! if you do hair dying, then i deserve a dyke card! ;)

Michelle York said...

I loved this one! Homo Depot...that's a good one Jude!

SquirtyB said...

do mine next?

There is a homo depot near by...

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Ahhhh, the things we do for the ones we love. Too cute!

tommy said...

AWE--Jude I'm so proud of you...WHAT A TEAM PLAYER...I'm glad that you had a way to "find your center" afterwards too Lol. Jen's in the mood for a makeover, perhaps I should come to you for suggestions now? :)

Jude said...

Tommy, I think you're still more the expert in the hair dept. ;)

C...I totally agree with your second statement.

CrackerLilo said...

It is really sweet that you try, anyway. And you don't make yourself scarce when she gets the stuff out! If you were really mean, you'd be at Homo Depot (ha!) well in advance! But I'm sure you love the results.

Every morning, I shave my wife's head and she puts my long hair into a suitably "professional" style. We love doing that for each other.

She likes to play with my hair, which can get bad when we watch sports. Last night's race, when two drivers we really like came very close to snapping long winless streaks, L'Ailee nervously twisted a lock of my hair and damn near ripped it out of my head. And Gods help me when her Red Wings are playing a close game! At that point, her little bald head looks a bit less cute. :-)

shane rocket said...

i do believe this takes away the dyke card, princess.

LESBO is totally right.

Dee said...

I had a girlfriend pull the cap off my head with all my hair still through the holes when I decided (post hooking) that I didn't want my hair highlighted afterall. Bee-otch.

LilliGirl said...

Shane, you're wrong...It just makes her an even better wifey!

And I'm betting it's way more orth helping than letting the wife struggle on alone and get less than desirable results...The reminders of that might never end. ;)-

Dawg said...

Shane is just jealous.
You maintain your dyke card.

Dragon said...

Nice, that would take patience. give you props for that.

Windy Days said...

You dye hair; She camps. That's fair. You guys are so cute, I swear you are! Give her a squeeze for me.

Jen said...

That's why I go to a salon where they use foils. The cap HURTS! And I think it's sweet that you do that for her Jude :)