Every now and then I get to pull the Wife's hair. Not in a cat fight way nor in the way of kinksville either but through a head cap. She likes to color her hair then add highlights and it's me that she relies on to use a funny looking crochet hook to pull strands through bulls-eyes that are conveniently marked on a water polo style head cap. I've done this duty many times over the past 10 or so years and the conversations are like instant replays of been there, done that just like the one we had this morning.....
Wife - big sigh
Me - what
Wife - I've got most of the front done and I need your help now.
Me - ok. at this point I get the brain hooker from her and notice that she's gotten about 20 of the fckn bull eyes done and I think, great only 121 to go but I'm determined to help out so I start pulling hair.
Wife - Now you know, no loops.....
Me - I know.
Wife - And only the bull....
Me - I know. which at this point I tilt the mirror that she's been looking at towards the ceiling and continue.
Wife - Try to make it all even and...
Me - I KNOW, move your head forward and get closer to me.
Wife - You wouldn't make a very good hair stylist.
Me - I'm not one and don't ever want to be one. I would kill people.
Wife - oh. Watch my ear. OUCH!
Me - sorry
And the conversation continues along the same for the next 20 minutes. We say same verbiage when it's time for me to apply the stinky paste. She tells me how to brush it on each strand and I paint the shit on her head. Today, she only had one "ouch" so I'm getting better at pulling only her hair through holes and leaving her scalp and brains in tact.
The end result? She loves it. Me too. Plus, we're still happily married which is so fcking amazing.
And after it's all done I make sure to do a 30 minute walk about Homo Depot to put me back into my butchness.