I had a couple of opportunities this weekend of being a mouthy butch. I normally have a ton of patience but when someone pushes my buttons when I'm wearing a don't fck with me attitude, I have no problems saying what's on my mind.
Friday night and we're out with our friends at an Italian Mom/Pop type restaurant. We've all been there before several times, the last was with the Wife and that was when we had our first bad waitressing experience. Back to Friday night, we got the same fcking waitress. After we had gotten our rounds of drinks the Wife asked for a glass of water and at the same time we asked for more bread sticks. Fifteen minutes later the shithead waitress walks pass our table and I asked again for the Wife's water. She then proceeded to tell me I have to wait my turn that she was going to another table to get their order because they were waiting. Well Fuck Me and the horse that I road in on, her tip just dropped from, cha-ching!, 20 to 15%. She got the table's order then stopped at our's and announced to us she had other tables to wait on and......I thought fck this shit, and I told her Listen, we go out to dinner a lot and we DON'T need to hear about how busy you are...she ran away and quickly brought back a glass of water for the Wife to which I simply said, "humph, no lemon" she ran away again. Cha-ching....10%. Three minutes later she snottily placed a picture of water on the table containing one little slice of lemon. As she walked away, I said where I would like to put that pitcher. Ten minutes later she and her helper were delivering our food as she was putting the pizza in front of me and I said, you forgot our salads AGAIN (she had done the same in our last visit there). Cha-ching.....5%. She had a moment of looking very flustered and then she blamed her "new" helper to which I reminded her that she was the waitress and was the one responsible for taking care of this table and then the rest of the table told the new helper it wasn't her fault. We got our salads with the meal which to me isn't a big thing other than if I wanted to eat everything at the same time, I would have made the meal myself at home. The food, the beers and the company was great.
Check time and she fucked that up by not including a discount. When we finally walked out of the place the tip was down to the token buck on the table as in a fuck you buck! We never got the breadsticks.
Come Saturday morning the Wife and I were shopping at Homo Depot and at some point I had to take a trip into the Ladies Room. My attire was the usual cargo shorts, t-shirt, sneakers (since it's fall time here, no more flip flops) and a Bar Harbor, Maine ball cap. One lady was just finishing up and leaving as I walked in and went into one of the stalls. When I was washing my hands my back was to the door, I heard the door open and a woman walked in then said 'oopppps!!"and she hesitantly walked in. I thought, oh fuck as I continued washing my hands, then I started laughing to myself but loud enough for her to hear it as she was walking to the stall. Then I said, "Yes, this is the Ladies Room!" As I was opening the door to leave, she was still standing in front of the stall staring at me at which point I said "Ladies Room, right?" and walked out. I mean give me a fckn break, it's Homo Depot!
Don't mess with me when I have zippo patience for idiots.
Sunday, we stayed home.
29 minutes ago