I confess, I googled G Spot to make sure I still had one. :D
My lower abdomen doesn't feel empty.
Trapped air hurts.
Remember the bowel prep kit? Let me tell you a better name for that "Exploding Rancid Shit kit" and for 45 bucks it should come with two rolls of TP, a warning that states "no matter what flavor you choose it's still going to taste nasty" and a guarantee that "you'll be doing the turkey trots by the end of the day."
It's ok to show your colors as you walk your pee bag down the hospital corridor.
There are true to life Nurse Bettys, mine was a Nurse Bob.
I don't know what narcotic was getting pushed through me but it took away the pain in 10 seconds flat and it made my ears dance together in the center of my head.
Passing gas uses many abdominal muscles.
Liquid diets suck and I can't believe I ate all of the hot turkey custard on Thanksgiving.
Jello still rules for tender throats.
Every time I got disconnected from something I knew I was getting closer to going home.
My Doc rocks big time. He pushed me into the OR.
OR tables look too much like execution tables.
I had the best Nurses. They were always there for me when I needed them.
My Honey was there by my side.
I cried only one time.
Now more than ever, I'm a believer of the power of human energy.
They still come in and wake you up to take vitals.
My doc said 1 to 2 nights. I said 1 night. I won.
The Wife flushed my proof. TG Nurse Bob took my word.
Nurse Bob set me up with my last cocktail. Good thing too. Even the flat road was bumpy. I almost cried the second time.
Warmed blankets rock.
The OR has the AC set on freezing.
I was out of bed and walking 2o hours after major surgery. I'm still waiting to see when I'll start running.
When I got home I found a surprise under my left boob, EKG tag.
Instead of stitches or staples they glued me shut. How cool is that.
5 hours ago