Monday, December 21, 2009

This Is Bull Shit

What's BS? Pull up a chair and let me rant on for a bit. I'm riding on an emotional roller coaster and I'm a pain in the ass to anyone that comes close to me. I could hang a sign on my mail box, "bitch lessons taught here by a over qualified butch bitch". I'm at a point where I don't like myself and I can't wait to get over "this", whatever state I'm in right now.

What's causing me to spit more nails than normal?

Hormonal jazz, I did just get a full H so it's my body getting use to the vacancy.

With the above I haven't had great sex in four weeks. That alone is enough to kill assholes that I encounter on the road, or in the crazed people packed malls, even the grocery store is unsafe with me pushing the cart. Just put me in a padded room for fucks sakes.

No alcoholic beverages because I'm on a prescription that says so. I even looked up what the affects would be if I did drink and since it wasn't a deterioration of the drug but rather more on the affects of what the combo would do to me (cramps, vomiting and psychotic reactions) I'll pay attention to the directions. But for fuck's sakes I have to wait one day after the pills are done before I can have a holiday beer. FML.

Needless to say I'm living with my headphones on because I feel sorry for the people and animals that have to put up with my shit. The Wife and I have argued more in the past two weeks than what we have for the past two years. I've even yelled at my dog and I've yelled louder at my Dad but luckily he can't hear shit. I'm a Bitch. And don't even try telling me to Dyke it up unless you want some roofing nails in your eyes.

Hopefully as this week progresses and I get released from the no sex and done with the pills phase, I'll be back to my normal self.

So Happy Holidays, peace and all that other crap.


jilliebean said...

I could not help but to smile while reading your post. Not because I think it's funny that you are going through this... because I don't (hides from the nail gun)... but because it's just nice to hear someone else explain it. I had the full H 4.5 years ago at 29 and thought someone was going to die within the first two months. They won't put me on hormones though because of the risk of breast cancer or a stroke, so I go through periods of thinking I'm going to kill someone. The hormones are that out of control at times. So Jude, I'm sorry you are going through this... but it's nice to know that I'm not the only one!

jilliebean said...

Oh, and I'm wrong... mine was 5.5 years ago. So I lost a year!

greg said...

Shout it out!!! A rant will do you good from time to time.

lesbo said...

why else do you think we're all here?
we like to listen to your bitching.
I think you should start boxing. release the tension that way since you're still cut off from being your sex machine self.

Ang said...

It's have been through a lot..I wouldn't be in the greatest of moods. This to shall pass. Hang in there ((hugs))

Dragon said...

Sorry you feel that way Jude. You will get past the shitty phase. Then much lovins to the wife. :-)

vixen kitten said...

I'm just gonna say love, peace and all that crap back at you.

And *hugs* I hug everyone. Even when they're bitchy. *wink*


PS.... Can I just say you are hot as hell when you're all fired up like this. :)

Blazer said...

Might I suggest making up to your wife before the sex ban is lifted or you will really be sorry...just sayin' :)

small town dyke said...

here's to wishing R the best of luck when they turn you loose!

Camlin said...

Good thing it's temporary....

Sending good thoughts.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

You have been through so much recently. Just give yourself time to heal and vent here all you need. ((Hugs))

Jen said...

Oh Jude. I love hearing you bitch. Hello, my Jersey sister.

Not much I can say 'cept SOON baby. Soon!

jilliebean said...

I left you a picture on my blog!

C.I.W. said...

My ex had a full H done as well, age 29. It was this difficult for her, too.

It lifts.

Keep the headphones on, keep taking the pills, before you know it you will be belly'd up with a cold glass of somthin' and then going to bed with the sun comes up.

Propane Amy said...

OK... So since I've been here... or where you are at... I can add to this easily.

It will take about 12 to 18 months for your body to adjust to the HRT if you are on HRT. And even if you're not, it will still take a good while to adjust to having no hormones at all.

I took myself off HRT cuz I about lost my fucking mind. Everyone's different so it may not take as long for you.

Hang in there, Jude. It DOES get better. I promise.

I love you, Big Papa.

C said...


you have my uttermoist i mean most compassion for having to go through this shit. it is a bitch. but the good news is that it is temporary and it too will pass. the great sex will return. the mood swings will subside. but you do sound perrty "hot" with all that pent up emotion bwahahahahahhaha

i have been thinking about you lately wondering how you are and now that you got all that off your chest, its one step closer to becoming yo'seff again.

may i suggest watchin a few funny movies.... a massage.... a good dyke i mean byke ride...
and lastly but MOST effectively-------> have someone butchslap ya untill ya cry then let it AAALLLLL out and you'll feel so much better!


seriously, i truly am sorry you are going through this shit!



a butch'es gotta do what a butch has gotta do, and you did.

let the christmas season embrace you and warm your tootsies and bunns and nipples too if you roll like that.... then focus on the newness and fresh beginning the new year will bring for you.

you have been blessed and still have alot of life to live!

in the meantime, for those who dont understand your emotional roller coaster, have R hold 'em down as you pluck every nipple hair they have out with PLIERS!


merry christmas, you guys...
give each of you a hug from diane and i, K?
SISTAHS across the miles!
if we lived nearby, i would SO come over and pamper you guys with good eats... card games, and the raunchiest jokes you'll evah lay your lips on....

hang in there honey.


chris n diane

Sandy said...

You sound pretty normal to me after what you have been through.Bitching is good for the soul.Oh yea, have plenty of KY when you are finally able to get romantic.You will soon know what I mean.LOL.Hang in there,my friend,as it does get better with time.