"I'm not really gay"....That's what Mrs Jude says all the time.
I'm her first and she claims her last woman because she's not gay. My head does the Ziggy side to side tilt when she says that too. She tells me she doesn't look at women the same as I do and other women don't turn her on. Yet she's with me so I've never been able to figure that whole thing out so I've always laughed it off.
Recently though she's changed her mind.
Rewind to the Palm Springs weekend when we were sitting at the bar and four very pretty Latino women walked in. Two very prominent Butches and two Femmes walked by us to go to the outside bar and Mrs. Judes head swiveled like the Chuckie doll and she declared at that moment...
Mrs J: Ok, I'm gay.
Me: What do you mean you're gay? You're finally ready to admit that after all these years?
Mrs J: Yes. So what.
Me: What changed your mind?
Mrs J: Those women are hot.
Me: What about me?
Mrs J: Of course, you're still hot Silly. It's just those women have such an attitude about them, like they're proud of their women, no matter what size they are.
Me: *drinks another shot of Jagermeister* Well, I'm very proud of you and I love it when we're walking together; side by side, you in front of me or hand in hand.
Mrs J: I know. It's their gangster hat. I'll buy you one.
Me: *more head tilting* OK and I'll buy you a pair of black high heel boots.
Mrs J: But I'm not going to be able......
Me: *raises one eyebrow and smiles* Don't worry, you won't have to walk in them, believe me.
Mrs J: *smiles*
My Wife is finally gay. Will someone send me a fucking toaster please!
56 minutes ago