Wednesday, February 3, 2010

No way Jose






Received an email today:

"The Fire Dept. is seeking qualified men and women, minimum 50 years of age for the Fire Department Senior Volunteer Program. Uniformed Volunteers provide incident support and perform daily operational duties."

Fuck that shit. That only means you get to stand on the roadway directing traffic, clean up after sloppy firefighters in the fire house and spit shine the trucks. And doing all of these activities while in uniform. I.don't.think.so.

Now if it meant hanging onto the end of a charged attack line, I would definitely do that again.

Taking advantage of old farts. Eat it.

18 comments:

lesbo said...

"minimum 50 years of age". ouch.
they must have gotten your name off the AARP list, eh?

Jude said...

Lesbo....shut it.

small town dyke said...

I would love to see you in action!!!

vixen kitten said...

*giggles at lesbo's comment*

Ummm...except for that, I have nothing. *stifles laughter*

You rock, Jude!

xoxo
~vk~

C said...

yeah, fuck that. oh. i love how they phrase it to sound SO important and appealing to "people over 50"..

their ad should of just read something like this-

dearest old farts,

IF you can still see this email and read it, we'd like to have you join us and become our asswipes... it is beneath us to do those nasty chores and whattya got to lose anyways? all you old people do is sit around waiting for time to end, anyways... why not put yourselves to use by cleaning up after our shit and doing those things which we, the younger crowd, find repulsive. awww, come on. we'll pay you 5 smackaroos an hour- you cant beat that offer. for those of you in scooter chairs, we'll even let you clean your chair here, for free.

yours truly,

tightassed, lazy muthas tryin to employ useless old peoples."

at least that would be honest.

but if this is what you used to do, i mean no harm. im sure you were GREAT at it.

hope all is well.

thank you for your support on my past posts.

hugs,

c

Propane Amy said...

OMG.. HAHAHAHAHHA.... HEHEHEHEHE...

*gaining composure*

*breathing*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... Lesbo just made my night with that!!!


I'm sorry, Jude... But... um... That is some funny shit RIGHT THERE.

Love you Big Papa

canihelpyousir said...

It's awfully suspicious to me that Lesbo knows so much about the AARP list.

In all seriousness Jude, I love your blog posts. They always make me smile.

lesbo said...

thank you, thank you. i'll be here all night.

amy, don't act like you don't already know how hilarious i am.

g, puh-lease! you'll hit the AARP list LONG before i will!

shane rocket said...

wow. old fart. yep that pretty much sums you up.

and what the hell kind of comeback to NK is that? you can do better!

old fart. old fart old fart. old fart old fart. old fart old fart. old fart old fart. old fart old fart. old fart old fart. old fart old fart. old fart old fart. old fart

Jude said...

You all are just having too much fun here.
....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(

aneke said...

LMAO!

What is this AARP list you speak of? Somebody tell this uniformed SA girl.

lesbo said...

jude, you are so crafty! or did you copy & paste that?

aneke, it's an organization for old people. jude can give you more details ;)

alphafemme said...

since when is 50 old? I thought "old age" was supposed to be getting OLDER, not younger, what with longer life expectancies and whatnot. Hell, I think 50 is YOUNG! Geeze louise.

aneke, AARP = American Association of Retired People (or is it Persons?). Basically it's an advocacy organization for retired/elderly/senior folks. And you get discounts and stuff if you're a card-carrying member. (Is it wrong that I can't wait till I'm 50 so I can get the discounts?)

Jude said...

Thanks for your support Alpha.

And I'm sorry but I can't honestly provide any more details because I
haven't joined this elite group yet.

You know Small Town has got it right too...there's a lot of action left.

;)

reeflightning said...

good one jude, especially enjoyed the finger! ;-) hell man, if there is one thing i have learned in my really loooong life. try never to volunteer for any damn thing.

jelly said...

lol, good one lesbo!

tommy said...

buy and or steal said uniform and use it in the bedroom...that could be fun for you and the wifey, right?

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Wow, that finger has me highly impressed! But then when you're OLD you have lots of time on your hands to sit at the computer and type dots/dashes/slashes/lines. :)

Don't they have a shuffleboard court somewhere near your house? Staying active is important you know.