Monday, March 1, 2010

Butch Shopping

I've never been thrilled with clothes shopping. Growing up and being dragged along by my Mother through Macy's was always an ugly experience. Trying on the shit that she made me wear gave me reoccurring nightmares. The skirts, the blouses, oh! how she tried.

Now most of my shopping is done online since I favor (favor? who the fuck am I kidding) I only purchase menswear.

One exception is the men's store in town. Thanks to the saleswomen that work there I have no problem going into this store and buying anything from slacks to underwear. The women actually help me AND let me try on anything in the only dressing room. They always give me a warm hello when I walk in and either leave me alone to do my shopping or are right there by my side when I have a question. The way they treat me discounts the looks I get from the other shoppers in the store. Usually a direct smile and a wink to those people result in either a confused look or a quick look away which amuses me to no end.

That store has become my little house of joy because it gives me the perfect shopping experience. I get cool new clothes, a feel good experience about myself and sometimes an added bonus of entertainment. You can't beat that type of shopping.

So fellow Butches, how are your shopping experiences?

Oh and BTW, I'm not discounting the Femmes here. In fact there is nothing that makes me happier than going shopping with a Femme. I will even go as far as holding Mrs. Jude's purse so she can try on a pair of 3 inch heels; though I do look a tad awkward.


lyon de clarasvals said...

I get looks and hear the whispers and giggles. Some clerks seem to get off on saying ma'am really loud at me. You know what I mean? What is with that? I just ignore it. The local Goodwill sometimes has a very confused dd clerk, but for the most part they are the most polite clerks I run into. I have met a few gay employees here and there who are very nice though.
I want the name of your store. If I ever make a trip I am going shopping.

jelly said...

I'm a thrift shop, vintage/retro junkie.
If I do shop in regular stores...I tend to like Marshall's, Torrid, sometime Kohl's, Target...but I prefer flea markets and thrift shops...or online.

I'm a bad example of a shopping femme. ;-)

Jude said...

Jelly my Dear, you're not a bad example at all. I know many Femmes who thrive at thrift and vintage stores. I'm not so lucky in those stores but would gladly hold the purse while you try something on.

And just this weekend I got totally confused in Target. They're redesigning their layout that I had memorized and I felt I was on a safari hunt. Exciting!

small town dyke said...

Nothing better than shopping with my butch, I love to take her shopping. American eagle and aeropsostle are her faves and I love to mess with the clerks. I was however told this weekend that shopping with a femme is not so much fun for some butches. Imagine not wanting to shop in Victoria secrets;)

Mrs. Loudshoes said...

Neither a butch or a femme here, but I hate shopping too. When you are over 40, it seems you can either look like Courtney Love or Barbara Bush, nothing in between. And just for the record, any store that gives me *any* sort of look for shopping in there gets no more of my business ever again...if you are selling it, I'm allowed to buy it hassle free.

LB_Boi said...

I'm a huge fan of H&M not only for their selection of men's wear but because more often then not, the gay male associates are really helpful with pairing shirts, sweaters, etc. And often they complement my choices when I check out.

I also like PacSun because they also have a great selection in men's wear & again, the male associates are really helpful.

The only reason I prefer retail shopping vs. online shopping is I have to try things on. I hate ordering something only to have it fit a big awkwardly.

I really want to buy a tuxedo or suit next but am not sure how that one would go over since I'd need to go in and get fitted.

I'll gladly go shopping with femmes even if they ask me to hold their purse. :-)

Mel's Way or No Way said...

I walked out of the ladies room at Barnes and Noble Saturday to see A with my purse slung over her shoulder. I had to stop and just didn't look right.

Jude said...

Mel...tell A the BEST way to hold a purse is on the floor, in between the feet with your arms crossed while looking downward with disdain.

I got caught holding it this past weekend and Mrs. J let out a laugh and told me it didn't look right. duh!

C said...

lmao you are just the cutest, jude! you make me laugh... i love ya, sistah..

i do wear some men's clothes but i hate shopping for 'em, too. goodwill is one store i frequent, just found 2 new jackets there cheap, for spring, doesnt even look like they have been worn before.

i really do enjoy shopping for others but not myself.... yuk..


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Holden said...

I've learned it's best to shop for my clothes with my femme wife, easier and pain free. (apart from the handbag holding!)

Although I have no objection to browsing men departments on my own and just ignoring any odd looks.

Blazer said...

I just hate shopping for clothes; flash backs from my youth? I usually you try things on when I get home and return them if they don't fit. Not so much the weird looks in stores but the whole process of taking clothes on and off repeated that drives me crazy.

greg said...

I don't step foot inside of a store. Every bit of my shopping is done online and I love it! I love clothes and shoes very much (yeah, I think you know all this by now) but since we're saving money I'm much more careful about what I purchase. That said, my favorite stores are jcrew, Anthropologie & Banana Republic. I also love the Gap and American Eagle - OH and Nordstrom has a great site...yeah, I could go on and on here. :)

I love reading about the Butch shopping experience - excellent post!

Dragon said...

Shopping is not a favorite of mine. I would rather go in, get what I need and go. Shopping with a femme, well, it was a lot of standing around and being really good even though I wanted to get the hell out of there. Later perks are worth it.

As far as me, I never really think twice about it. I go into the store, get what I want out of the guys department and even sometimes (like in JCPennies) go into the guys changing room to try my clothes on. There are closed doors, not like I see anything. I never really pay attention to the people around me (don't care) so not sure on if I get funny looks or not.

notjustafemme said...

I love to shop with my/a butch. I get to give my opinion and they want to hear it! and you KNOW you soak it up when your femme gives you praise on something you're wearing.

we know you secretly love holding our purse and all the bags we've accumulated while watching us model our goods. despite the eye rolling and tired sighs you might be giving us.

Jessi said...

Well, I'm a femme, but I wish I could do online shopping! I love shopping, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it would be nice to not have all the hassle by trying it on!

Vic said...

I go for the well-dressed teenage boy look as my most comfortable expression of who I am. Problem is, I can't find any shirts in the men's section that are small enough to fit well. Since I'm pretty short, they all make me look like I'm wearing a sack to hide the wobbly bits and come halfway down to my knees.

So I've taken to shopping in the boys' section. It takes a lot of working up to do this. I end up feeling paedophilic because I am trying clothes on in a section that is specifically signposted as not mine, on two counts - for children, and for boys. I paranoid that some overprotective mother will usher her children away from this weirdo that is shopping in their section.

I leave this type of shopping for months and usually have a rare spree of "oh stuff them all" confidence, buy up big in one hit and then go hide.