Monday, April 26, 2010

Please Secure Your Barf Bag

My Dad and I were late leaving Nashville airport due to the horrible weather conditions. Rain, wind, lightening, hail and possible tornadoes; normal junk for that area. Needless to say the take off and ascent was super bumpy and a few air drops were felt by my belly. It seemed like it was taking us forever to get above the clouds.

It was the first time I ever heard the flight attendant come on to coach us through the roughness. She told us to open up the little AC vents above our head to some air and help prevent motion sickness. She even told us to get our barf (yes, she said barf) bags out before we really needed them. Nice.

Another 10 minutes had passed and it's still quite bumpy she comes on the PA again and said that the Captain told the Attendants to remain belted and to please turn off the attendant lights because they would not be able to get up; she said again more firmer, unless it's a medical emergency to turn off the attendant light.

I'm trying to keep my eyes on the words in my book when I heard that last announcement and started thinking, now who the hell would be calling for the attendant while we're buckarooing through the fucking air??? I looked forward to see if I could find the light that was on and then started to turn my head and my eyes just about popped out of my sockets. My Dad had his light on!

I poked him in his arm and pointed upward. He told me he wanted to change his seat because the guy in front was in his lap. I quickly turned off the light.

For fucks sake, he has a heck of a time walking on stable ground I don't know how he thought he was going to be able to walk in a plane that was getting tossed all around in the air!

After we finally got into blue skies he was able to move to the seat in the emergency row. He doesn't like it when a stranger sleeps in his lap either. Like Father like Butch.


notjustafemme said...

first, welcome home! I have missed you, my friend.
second, hilarious! is it safe to say that he couldn't hear the overhead announcements that were being made? ha. I wish I could see your reaction in all these different scenarios.

C said...

lmao... it's always somethin when you fly... that's why i dont! glad you are home safe... and i hope you had a good time!


Mel's Way or No Way said...

I think I would have tried to climb under the seat from embarrassment! I know the poor guy can't hear but he didn't notice the plane bouncing around?!

When I gaze into my future, I see very similiar situations happening with my sweetie. That's okay since I swore I will dress her in polyester suits and get her a nice perm.

Dragon said...

I have only been in a plane once and on the way back we hit alot of rough patches. I didn't like that one bit. Wasn't so much the fear but the annoyance of bouncing around all over the place. Too funny about your dad. Glad you guys made it back safe. Back to the real world now. :-)

VeganBattleBot said...

Ha! Go your dad!

canihelpyousir said...

I'm so glad you're back safely! And holy shit, your stories about your dad just crack me up!

Charisse said...

Oooooo I do not like bumpy flights. The only time I have had a problem flying was in a terrible storm, while I was pregnant, very early on. Thank goodness!!!!