Going back again to the series from Now Is Your Chance posting, BellyGirls asked some very serious questions around the dreaded 7 year itch, myth or truth? Hmmmmmmmm
You and Mrs. Jude have been together for a long time.
Holly and I are approaching 7 years and we hear all the time from people about the "7 year itch".
Is there a particular year that was harder for you two compared the other years spent together? Do you think the 7 year hump is really the hardest to overcome?
I don't know if I ever had the itch or not, there was a time in our relationship when we were definitely growing apart. It felt like Jude was my room mate instead of my partner.
We had been commuting to work for over 7 years, spending two hours every day on the road and when we got home at night we were beat and it was taking a toll on us. We stopped doing our crazy things together. Then I started staying down by my work and hanging out with friends I worked with and Jude found interests and people closer to home. It just kept getting worst, no communications, no nothing, we became very distant towards each other and it was like we just shared a house. During this time there was no other person for me, I still loved Jude, go figure.
We did finally talk one day and decided we needed to get away. We went to the Jersey shore and acted like we just met, the way it had been years ago. We made a commitment to each other to never let our relationship get into that condition again and now 15 years later our relationship has never been better.
Pay attention to each others needs.
Oh yeah, I remember that time that my wife is describing. It was pretty horrible and I blame it on not quickly recognizing the root cause of the reason why we got into that non-loving time in our relationship. We both learned from it though and we made it through that tough time too. What was important was even though our relationship had fallen apart we really never gave up on each other. The rule we followed very strictly in our next two relocations was making sure we lived within a 15 to 20 minute commute to work.
So to answer the question, Yes! there could very well be a 4 year, 7 year, 14 year, 25 year (you're getting my point here I hope) itch and it's important to recognize what's going on right away and then make the choice of either rectifying what's happening or worst case ending the relationship. Luckily we choose the former and we both couldn't be happier in our lives right now.
What we find important in our relationship is open communications, making "us" our priority, laughing and playing every day, taking time out to notice the other, fantastic and regular sex (come on, it wouldn't be me if I didn't mention something about dessert). Listen, with the scare I just went through this past November I received a hard, smack in my face, wake up call. I don't sweat the small shit anymore and what I have in Mrs Jude is something I wouldn't be able to put a price on nor trade in for the world. I am so fucking in love with her. I'll always be ready give that itch a big bad butch fight if it dares to come around again. Just try.
Thanks BellyGirls! Mrs Jude and I talked the other night by writing about that bad time was a good exercise. It made us think about what we had almost lost and oh boy, the dessert that night was great! ;)
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