Most of the times I can keep my sarcasm in check when talking to our family members who are straight (actually, most of them are straight). There is one member who I have to really hold back on since she's a very strict born again (BA). I'm sure she voted Yes on 8 so I try to stay clear of her. Don't get me wrong, I love my extended family. They quickly took me into the family much faster than mine took in Mrs Jude but that would be another story or three.
Anyway, we (Mrs J, and S&G who are the cool family straight married couple) are at the gay bar and there happens to be a bachelorette party going on with probably around 10 women. Why in fucks sake a bunch of straight women would want to go to a gay bar for this special party is beyond my comprehension. Safe? pfft....whatever.
So Miss Soon to be Married to a Man is walking around with a lit up crown of itty bitty penises. Funny! O-kay fine, let me get back to smooching with my Honey and drinking some beers.
The B-party-ers are having a good time letting out their giggles whenever it deemed appropriate. Then the gay boy dancer goes over to them and it all gets very loud with screeches that remind me of finger nails going across a black board (my gosh, that's got to be an obsolete sound by now). The half naked boy dancer with mr. happy in his spandex begins his moves on Miss Soon to Be and all the other women whip out their cell phones to take pictures. This goes on for the next half hour or so until the party disappears. Thank you fuckers! The bar is back to normal now and I'm checking out the gays, lesbians, bi's, trans, drinking beers and smooching with my Honey.
The next day we had to explained to our family members, who were lounging pool side, what went on at the bar.
BornAgain: So how was last night? Did you have a good time?
Me: Yeah, we all had a great time.
BA: S&G had a good time too?? (and that's what cranked up my sarcasm)
Me: They sure did, why wouldn't they?
BA: (she got that A-oh look on her face)
Me: Would you believe that a bunch of straight women were at the bar? For a bachelorette party no less?
Woman Cousin: I know a lot of women who go to those bars for parties.
Me: Well, that's o-kay but when they start gyrating against the gay dancers, man, that's just plain disgusting. I don't want to see that shit. That's one of the many reasons why I'm gay!
Yeah, well, I see straight people. Don't we all? But sometimes, as in every once in a while, I don't want to.
1 hour ago