Thursday, August 12, 2010

Hurry UP and Wait

or We've Become Experts at Proposing

In California today...Judge Walker has ruled to deny a permanent stay on the recent ruling of California's unconstitutional Proposition 8 which may I remind you, was the voter approved ban that denied equal rights for same sex couples to wed.

Even though the Judge denied the stay he did extend the temporary stay until August 18, 5PM PDT which will give the supporters of Prop Hate plenty of time to file their appeal to the Ninth Circuit.

During the morning hours leading to the decision today, couples were standing and sitting in long lines at county court rooms through out California in hopes that they would be able to tie the knot. At one point in San Fran they applauded for a straight couple who walked out of the room freshly married. Gay peeps make me proud. For us though, the waiting continues. But hey, we've become experts at waiting right? How do you think those pro prop 8'ers would feel if they had to wait to get married? Or wait to see if the courts would allow them to get married because gay people voted against their marriage rights?

Or what about if they couldn't really "plan" for their day because YOU NEVER KNOW what's right today could be different tomorrow.

Mrs Jude and I decided on getting married two years ago during the 6 months when marriage was allowed (for the 2nd time) in California. We couldn't pick the day that we wanted to get married (our anniversary day) because we were fearful that if we waited that long the law would change. Good thing we didn't wait or else I would still be single!

So here again, I'm wondering how many gay people will be rushing off to get married (hopefully) next week? If you choose to be married, it should be the most important day in your life. Part of the process is planning for that day. Talking about it to your friends, your family, coworkers (I'm sure we've all been through a co-worker's marriage planning process) even the check out lady at the grocery store would be happy to hear about your plans. You know what I'm talking about. Again though, people will rush to their county court offices to get married because they won't know how long equality will stand up in time.

I hope the next generation of baby dykes, femmes, bois and butches will have the luxury of being able to take their time and plan for their important day and not have to worry about anything being taken away from them. We'll sit back and get to tell them about the marches, the lines, the what seemed to be never ending waits we endured but in the end we became victorious. Equality was ours and all the crack butts went home to mull over who they're going to victimize next. We're getting closer and the waiting is going to end, it has to end soon.


dolphyngyrl said...

You know, when I first came out, I hoped my kids would be able to marry whomever they chose when the time came. I never really thought I would get that luxury. But here I am with a not-fully-legal, frequently forgotten marriage anniversary to the woman who's had my back more consistently than anyone else I've ever known.

And I'm so excited to think of a time when this whole argument is a moot point.

Em said...

It's frustrating in every way there is. I am your age, but have yet to meet the woman I will, hopefully someday, fall in love with and want to make as full a commitment as possible to.

I have spent my entire life, it feels like, making phone calls, signs and marching.

Here's hoping we get our acts together as a nation sooner rather than later. Of course, I can always hope that my one and only is Canadian.

Mrs. Loudshoes said...

"Because that's the way we've always done it" is never a compelling reason to do anything.It's time to change that law.

vixen kitten said...

I find the whole thing insane.

The right for freedom and equality should not be left up to a vote. It should be a constitutional right.

Just my always humble opinion.


notjustafemme said...

I love your words. And I'm glad you're not still single ;)

makingspacethejourneyout said...

As of right now it's a go!

Holding lots of good thoughts for all those fast-forwarding through their wedding plans.

greg said...

Great picture!

I love being a New Yorker but it makes me sad to know how far away from this we are. I don't want to get married in another state but how long would we be willing to wait? It's a disappointment. My fingers are crossed for CA right now. I just want to see them win once and for all.

kym said...

It is totally frustrating all across the board!
If I was in Calif., I wouldn't be planning my wedding just yet...I think I'd wait and see what happens since this thing goes back and forth so many times.
But, I remain hopeful, I really, really do.

I say we also get rid of Civil Unions here in NJ, I mean, yes, it is better than nothing, but I want a MARRIAGE in name and law.

Equality now people, let's go!!

Jen said...

I love that pic. Is it yours? I want to use it!

It IS frustrating. And seriously, I don't want to have to travel anywhere, like Canada, to get married. I want to be able to get married in my home state like the choice that all heteros have. I'm seriously rooting for CA!

C said...

i'm also so sick of this shit. it is SO fucking redundant.. this is sposed to be the country where everyone is created equal, yet we are not. we are sposed to have free speech but we dont. there is not sposed to be discrimination in any shape or form.. yet there is.

what is wrong with this picture, peeps? this is sposed to be AMERICA... isnt it?

and these are sposed to be our constitutional rights, is it not?

so how do the politicians have the right to be changing our constitution when ever they get a hair up their asses? they dont even discriminate equally.. you cant be black one day and sit in the front of the bus then the next day you are still black but now must sit in the back of the bus... for fucks sake, i dont even want anyone to be discriminated against but who gives these mofo's the right to change our civil rights like this? it's fucking crazy man...

bellygirls said...

You said it very well, Jude! It's all very sad and we shouldn't still be fighting for our equal rights.

Things are changing though and I predict that this won't be an issue 5 years from now - or at least I hope it isn't.

canihelpyousir said...

To echo some of the others, I love that picture. It sums up my thoughts exactly.

I just keep hoping this is a sign of things to come for everyone everywhere - equal rights.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Very well said, Jude.

I can honestly say that my sweetie and I have layed in bed many nights talking about the wedding we want to have compared to the wedding we will likely have. It's sad when you really consider it.

Good to hear from you...