Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Marriage Matters

When we couldn't get married I always protected my feelings by saying we didn't need a piece of paper to show and know our love for each other. 

The day we actually were able to marry, Mrs Jude and I stood under a tacky trellis saying our vows to each other while my smiling Dad sat and took some pictures. As each second passed the little speck of warmth that started from the center of my heart expanded outward until I was overwhelmed with the warm and fuzzy feeling. This wasn't a hot flash either. It was knowing that Mrs Jude and I were really committed to our relationship. Not that we weren't this way in our prior years together. It just felt different.

As we walked out of the building I held my head a little higher and had an extra bounce in my step. It was at that point that I realized, marriage does matter. At least to me. All those years that I said we didn't need it, well, maybe we didn't at the time and maybe we still don't really need marriage but let me tell you being married to the woman that I love feels damn good. 

So today, when ever I read or hear anyone discrediting my marriage status, I get bothered by those statements and feelings. Listen, my marriage is the same as any other person's marriage in a sense that it's recognized by the state of California. We're getting close to having it recognized by the Federal government too. We all need to strive for marriage equality and when the government stops allowing discrimination then maybe the rest of the general public will also stop doing the same.


vixen kitten said...

Beautifully said.


greg said...

So, so lovely. I look forward to that day.

thissideofchanged said...

After I left the ExH from hell, I swore "never again."

Through the entire relationship with the ExG, I swore "it's just a piece of paper. who cares?"

I'm eating my words on both counts. Not only does marriage matter, but it matters more when you have to fight to be able to marry, when you have to drive 26 hours one way to get married, and when you have to recognize that even though your piece of paper has Marriage Certificate across the top, it is only recognized sometimes.

Not only does marriage matter, but it's become central to the way I see my relationship. It is, simply, different to be legally married. Not more than - I certainly wasn't more in love the day after than the day before. Not less than - it doesn't feel obligatory to be in love because I'm married.

But different, nonetheless.

I prolly shoulda just written my own damn post, huh?

;-) Still Mrs. Jude's and your biggest fan,


C said...

very well said from your heart. i totally agree. hey jude... [that always give me a giggle] way to go!

lyon de clarasvals said...

Really Beautiful post Jude. If people like you keep talking about how important it is, we will win the right back soon.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Keeping my fingers crossed for my own day. Hugs to you and the Mrs.

Beth said...

I loved this post. I don't think J and I will ever get legally married since we live in Texas, but, hey, ya never know!!Our commitment ceremony was great but just once I'd like someone else to take our marriage seriously. If we married ourselves at 18 and are still in love 30 years later, then it's the real thing. This is b, by the way, from www.endlesslove112280.blogspot.com. I'm on a different acct.

notjustafemme said...

I wish I could have been there to witness the event.

Bridge Journey said...

YES! This post so resonates with me. Thank you! I can't wait until all LGBT Americans in every state of the US can marry!

LilliGirl said...

Amen. Your Dad is F*in Awesome by the way. And think about it...What you and R have is what everyone really is looking for no matter the age, race or gender. You are 2 lucky women.