Thursday, September 16, 2010

Don't Drop Everything

My Dad has been having some back problems lately and had to go for a x-ray.  Since he wasn't sure where the building was located in town, I took him.

We entered the waiting room, he promptly sat down and allowed me to do all the signing in and paperwork. Soon after it was completed a young woman entered the waiting room and called his name. I asked him if he wanted me to go with him, he said yes.

While walking down the the long corridor I explained to her she needed to talk loud enough for my Dad to hear her.  We got to where we needed to be and she explained to him how to put the wrap around robe on. I could tell by his dazed eyes that he wasn't hearing a word she was saying. I told her, "he can't hear you". She upped her volume a half a decibel and I thought that's still now loud enough so I stood up and told her that I would help him with the robe thing. She seemed relieved, handed me the robe and I had just enough time to ask her if he needed to remove his underwear and she told me no, just his pants. I replied with a thank you and she was history.

My Dad and I both got into the 3X2 dressing room. He sat down on the bench seat, removed his fake laced, velcro strapped shoes and started removing his pants. I told to him "keep your underwear on". He continued to remove his pants while I tried to figure out the fucking wrap around robe. When I looked back at him he's got his undies down to his knees. I gasped and told him to, "KEEP YOUR UNDERWEAR ON". He looked up at me while he was still seat squirmed down his undies. I started to panic and told him to KEEP.THEM.ON at least two more times with each time getting louder until he finally got it. Why not just give me a stroke on the spot. By this time I heard various giggles outside the 3X2.

We figured out the robe thing and I quickly got out of the changing room afraid to look up because I half expected to see 20 people standing in the hallway in their underwear but lucky for me, that wasn't the case. My Dad can't hear shit which makes for my conversations with him far from private. Our time out together ends up being a story to tell for me plus who knows how many other people.


thissideofchanged said...

Oh, but think of how many dinner table conversations you brightened tonight.


That's great. And you're good to your dad, sweetie. It's nice to see.

notjustafemme said...

I might be in tears from laughing at this.

Ohmygod. HILARIOUS. You're a good sport, Jude.

So much love to you.

C said...

i am lmao so hard!! i can picture everything...

your poor lil dadums is so precious. he looks so contented to be sitting there reading his paper.
he seems to be perfectly comfy with you and the mrs... which is so nice to see. bless your lil home opening heart jude..

enjoy him, and i know you do, you will find much comfort one day looking back on how he was surrounded by love the rest of his life. give him a big hug for me... i lubbs him..

i lerve your dadums stories...

lyon de clarasvals said...

Loved this. You're not alone dealing with the parent. Mine hears but doesn't remember.

Mel's Way or No Way said...

Oh my eyes, my eyes!!! *cringing and covering my face in shame* No one wants to be in that position.

I have to admit that if I had been standing outside overhearing that conversation, I would likely have peed myself laughing.

Jude honey, you're a good sport. :)